We’ll skip the goodbyes.

 Lo and behold, in a few days time, we’ll be saying our goodbyes to 2007 and say our hellos to 2008.  

 It seems just like yesterday, I was counting down online with han, haiqal and mich. I remembered talking to han in msn, but he didn’t reply my msn that fast. He was busy talking to his friends, I assume. So not wanting to disturb him in one way or another, I chatted with haiqal instead. We talked about what’s been and what could have been. We talk about the regrets and the mistakes we did in the past. He gave me his song, which he often sang to me back then, lyrics and all. He told me to not ever post or out the song online, the lyrics too, due to copyright reason, he said. I was talking to mich too. She was feeling super emo at that point of time. Her bf (now her ex) had to work on new year’s eve so she had no one to spend it with. She asked me to follow her to Zouk, which of cause I said no to. I ended up having a heart to heart talk to her, she advice me on my relationship and I did the same to hers. We both had no new year resolutions, what ever will be will be. Yeah, we’re in that kind of “mood” at that point of time. Then the countdown begins. 5 4 3 2 1. Happy new year!!!. Yeah, I sound ecstatic, but no, I wasn’t that ecstatic at that point of time. I was having a rather mixed up emotion, I was happy but at the same time, I was kinda sad. AllL thanks to haiqal uh. No wonder ive been really emo this one year, I start off the year solemnly. Pfft.

So yep, it’s been one heck of a mighty super duper hectic, emotional draining year for me. Too much too say, so I guess I’ll just type it out in point forms.

Lowest:

~  deleting my past, in order to move on to my present. For my own good, I forced myself to delete both haiqal and elias off my contact list. Both handphone number and contact list. I didn’t delete them off my friendster list yet, cause’ that’s the only way for me to know whether or not they’re ok with their life.

~losing my place in my family. Everything is in a recovering stage now, but damn, I’ll never want to lose my mum’s trust again. Fuhh. It’s really hard to win her back.

~ not caring for myself. Yeah, im easily sick now. my immune system is really low, and I tend to ache easily.

~ constantly fighting with han. Even at the slightest things. sometimes, our fights tends to be so severe that we ended up being so numb that we don’t know what we’re feeling at that point of time.

~ losing all those things I once and forever will treasure in life.

  Highest:

~ Having the courage to actually delete my past. it was so hard to delete them off. I cried buckets of tears, but it’s all worth it. Elfie once told me that he never ever believe in moving on. I kinda agree with him. we can never move on, but we can try to put them at the back of our mind. Delete all contacts with them, and try not to care for them.  That’s the least we can do to get rid of them. Haiqal just deleted his friendster. I guess he’s trying to run away from his past too. That’s good for him. And elias? He’s happy with his new flame now. And im happy for him too. I wish them all of them the best in their life. Maybe one day, in near future, we will bump into each other at the streets. Hopefully by then we will forget our past. we can be friends all over again. who knows. God always know how to handle things =)

~ falling in love with han all over again. He’s my beautiful providence. My angel in disguise. My everything when there’s nothing left in the world for me.

~ hugging my mum for the first time. Ahah. Ain, you know the story

~ moving on.

So yep, once bitten twice shy. I’m not gonna start 2008 solemnly once again. insyallah, I will  start the year off with a smile.

This year’s resolution:

~ To stop being emo. Im not gonna be stuck in this emo world ever again. Emo will just kill me. I cant find happiness if I’m constantly seeking for negative thoughts. So yep, hopefully, I will be smiling a lot this year. Han loves to see me smile, so yep, I will try to flaunt those teeth of mine a lot more next year.

~  start caring for myself more. I’m gonna eat healthily. More vegetables and fruits. And im breaking out do easily. So yuh, I need to take better care of my face too.

~start glowing all over again. I will glow only when im in love. so yep, I’m gonna make my way back into love, with han that is.

~ save money. Yeah, this one is really important. Need to save up for the future liao.

~ study hard. This one is also important. No matter how much I dread it, I still need to do it. pfft

~ make mum happy. Hahaha.

So yuh, that’s my new year’s resolution. What’s yours? 

For now, I wont be blogging as much. My computer is down so im depending on my personal diary to pen down all my thoughts and emotions. I’m ok, really. Just tired from work. I promise I will update more when my computer is fix.

Till then, take care guys =)