We’ll skip the goodbyes.

For the best
Or the worse.
I don’t know.
Everything change for a reason.
From the smiles
To frowns
With all the ups and downs.
Letting go is the hardest thing to do.
Of the person you love the most
But knowing in might be
Only for the best.
When you the one that caused all the pain
wondering why he never left
When he’s the one who should have said it’s over
But your love for him won’t let it go on forever.
Because he deserve everything that he giving you
That you never return.
All you can do now is walk away
And hold on to the memory
Because you thought being together might make you strong
But now realize you must have been wrong.
Because everything you do turn out to be wrong
Wishing there were something you could do or say
But you not sure he would even consider another day
But yet why should he
When you did wrong.
As you try to let go of him
But at night he fill your mind so much
All you can do is cry.
And awake the next day with him still on your mind.
But you should have known it was coming to an end
When you start getting that feeling inside that you about to lose
But like someone said
Love start with a smile
Grows with a kiss
And end in a tear
Which is so true
Because I guess who all love must part
When things been wrong for so long
And letting go is the best.

I’ve always been a fighter. Not in physical wise, in emotional wise that is. I tend to fight for things even when it’s hanging by the thread. I will keep holding on to it, keep my full faith on it, even when I know that the people I’m fighting for, don’t really want me to fight for them. They choose to push me away, instead. They rather let themselves wilt rather than let me cling on to them.

But I still, despite all that, keep holding on to them, and try my very best to not let them, fall…. Why am I being so stubborn, if you may ask?

Words itself can’t really describe this inner feeling. But seriously, it’s not acknowledgments I’m seeking for; it’s just something that comes by naturally. I really can’t bear to see people fall. I just can’t. It just pains me so much to see them in that state. So that’s why I’m doing all these. Besides, I can’t possibly let them fall because if they fall, it’s for sure that they won’t get to see the rainbow; the rainbow after the rain. If they fall, it will be such a waste cause’ the rainbow is the one thing that will change the person’s perspective of life. It’s not easy for them to actually see the rainbow, you know. They had to go through gazillion droplets of rains before they can actually see it. So yep, it will be such a waste to let them fall isn’t it?But for once in my life, I’m actually going against my words. I’m letting someone fall right before my eyes. As much as I want to offer my hands to help him up, I know I can’t. Cause’ apparently, I’m the one who causing him to fall. I’m the reason to all this. The person’, shall not be enclosed cause he’s no more than a figment of my past now.

For nearly 3 weeks, I’ve been fighting with my own feelings. I’ve been contemplating on whether or not should I go with my intuition, that is to live a new life, or should I just stick to my past. Cause’ after all, he’s been with me for close to one year 6 months now. He knows me inside out, my family and all. He used to be the one who lifted me up high. So high to a place I never thought I could ever be. He used to be my savior, my angel in disguise, my knight in shiny armor. He was my everything….But he was also my disaster. My beautiful disaster. He brought me down so hard. He took away everything after giving me everything. He stole my heart and then broke it into a thousand pieces. He held me close in his arms, and when he doesn’t need me anymore, he pushed me off the cliff. Just like that. At first, I tried to bear with it. I tried to accept the fact that guys tends to push girls away when they don’t need them. But as time passes by, after each fight, I began to wonder why am I still here?. Why am I still clinging on to him when he, himself don’t want me to cling on to him? Why am letting myself get hurt this way?  I should be smiling, but why am I constantly crying instead? People keep on telling me that I deserve better. Much better than him. But I’m always in denial, cause’ to me no one else can love me just the way he loved me. I was constantly in denial. I should have listen to them, cause’ after so long, I finally accepted the fact that indeed I deserve much better than this. There’s no use fighting for him anymore if he only show the door. No matter how much he means to me, I know, I have to let him go. I’m raising my white flag now, because I’m done fighting. I’m too tired to fight already.

So with the last bit of courage and dignity I have, I shall take my leave now. It was fun while it lasted. We had our fair share of laughter and tears. Thank you so much for making me shine all throughout this one year 6 months. You brought out the best in me, though I can’t deny the fact that you also brought out the worse in me. Thank you for holding me close when I’m at my weakest moment. I won’t forget those days where you carefully wiped my mascara smudges after my “crying session”. I will always love you, you already know that right? Please move on. It’s hard I know, but please do. Go find new girls. Try not to worry about me, I’ll be fine. Really. Just don’t worry about me aite?So yep, I wont be seeing you till march. I guess. Yeah, I’m sorry but you still owe me something. I’m trying not be heartless here, but I really need that thing. Hope you understand.

Till then.