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It’s really has been awhile huh? Heh. I’ve not been updating I know. Syid’s been complaining and others are requesting for me to update. Hah. Just when I thought no one’s reading my blog. Pfft. Reason for the lack of updates?
I’ve changed my url.
So yup, relink me people =)
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Be back soon, i guess.
Till then, take care.
Seeing you act in that telemovie really gets me thinking all over again.
Questions like “what really happened to you while I was away in Myanmar?” keeps on running through my mind right now.
But on a second thought, some questions in life are really better off unanswered. Besides, you never really took the initiative to straighten things out between us, so why should I even bother right?
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There are just too many people seeking both apathy and sympathy nowadays.
And it’s a no wonder this world is so full of illusions and pretence.
Come on people, stop wallowing & pick yourself up.
As long as it’s not the end of the world (yet), there’s still time to make room for rainbows and butterflies.
I get lost in the beauty
Of everything i see
The world ain’t as half as bad,
as they paint it to be
If all the sons, if all the daughters,
Stopped to take it in
Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin.
It might start now..Yeahh
Well maybe I’m just dreaming out loud
Until then..
Time flies and before I know it, Ramadhan is here again. Yayyyyy. Heh… Last year’s Ramadhan was a horrible one for me, but insya’allah things will be much better now =)
Speaking of Ramadhan, just now I sort of made a promise to my last two sisters, both 6 and 4 years old respectively. I told them that if they managed to fast for a full one month, I will give them 10 bucks each. My 4th sister saw me making that promise and then she started laughing. Because we both know that my last two sisters will NOT fast for the whole of the month. Confirm plus chop that they will puase yok yok nyer. Heeeee. Now now, aren’t you guys glad that you’re not my sisters? * Evil grins*
On another note… bieyyyy, make sure ah when you go out with me next Saturday, you will stand at least one meter away from me. And no staring into my eyes. You batal puase I dunno eh. Heh.
And to the rest of you, happy fasting. Takmu pause yok yok tau =D
Jaded. Irate. Incensed. Bewildered. Confused. Doubtful. Envious. Helpless. Incensed. Obnoxious. Provoked. Enraged. Tired. Tense. Repulsive. Uptight. Weary. Apoplectic. Worried. Amused. Funny. Perfect. Silly. Breathless. Betrayed. Loyal. Intense. Worried. Restless. Distant. Green. Morose. Difficult. Complete. Incomplete. Miserable. Lonesome. Ignored. Loved. Unloved. Fat. Provoked. Abhorrent. Faded. Incandescent. . Lackadaisical. Nonchalant. Sulky. Vivacious. Zonked.
For the past 10 years ( I exclude 8 years of my life as my maturity only sets in at the age of 10) in my life, I have always had trouble fighting against my own inner thoughts and emotions. I may look so put up physically, but emotionally, God only knows what I’m feeling right now. Insecurities, doubts, past, present, uncertainties, looks, appearance. These entire things combine together, makes a whirlwind of different contradicitng emotions.
No don’t get me wrong. I’m content with the way my life is going right now. I mean how can I not be content? My relationship with my mother is getting better by day, I’ve started with my bike lessons and I now have someone this close to a dream. But I still don’t feel right. The gaping hole in my heart is still there. In other words, I don’t feel complete yet.
Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe my mind is thinking too much. Or maybe, just maybe, my wounds have not thoroughly been healed yet. I don’t know. I just don’t know. All I know is that, I yearn to feel complete once again.
On another note, I’ve removed my link to my blog on friendster. From Fir’s friends, to skitzing an’s friends, a lot of them have been viewing my profile. I have no idea why. Maybe they are curious to see who F’an’s girlfriend is or maybe perhaps, they are curious to see who this Radhiyah who broke Raihan’s heart is. Hah. Entahlah eh. I don’t mind them viewing my profile; I just don’t want them to know the existence of this blog directly.
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i’ve seen enough now
to know that beautiful things
don’t always stay that way.
