Nineteen.

And happy birthday to me….

=)

Tingginya khayalan ku bila bersamamu..

For some reason, I am really tempted to delete my previous blog post. Guilty uh. Mcm tk baek pulak marah2 that pakcik. But then… Haiyaaaaaa. I should try to refrain myself from deleting my post. Post DELETE post DELETE. Baek tkyah update kan?

 

On another note, a few days ago, we were at Ahmad’s lab when he played his rendition of “hanya ingin kau tahu”.  For the whole of 2 minutes plus, I was in total awe. Coincidentally, that song’s been buzzing in my head for the whole of this week. And to finally hear its acoustic cover; woots cair cair. Heh.

 

Now thanks to Ahmad, I’m seriously contemplating on whether or not I should get myself a guitar. The current guitar at home belongs to my sis. And mind you, even though she has no idea how to play it, she refuses to lend it to me. Hati dier sikit nyer busok uh.. Then again, it’s been awhile since I last played the guitar. The last time I did was before I went to Myanmar. 7 months plus. Wah. Confirm plus chop I forget everything already. Sighhh entahlahhh.

 

 

Irritated lah sia.

Aku bahagia hanya bila kau bahagia.

Life has been pretty simple for me lately. Like a routine, it’s been revolving around school, Silat, family, friends and of cause my one and only. For some reasons though, I feel less “havoc”. Both emotionally and physical wise.  

 

I can feel that I no longer dress to impress and I’m all into simplicity now. Gone were the thick eyeliners, all black outfit etc. days. And I’m very proud to say that that my emotions are rather intact now. Alhamdulilah =)

 

And people (again!) have been asking me why I’ve been so quiet lately. Nope, I’m not sick. And noooooo, I’m not having any problems. I’m ok, really. I can’t figure out why people have been asking me that when in fact I’m getting talkative lately, especially when I’m out with F’an. Seriously, I just can’t stop talking and laughing.

 

And ourh, speaking of laughter, I think I just had the best laugh of my life. F’an should know what I’m talking about. We were crossing this traffic light when he did something out of spontaneity. Because of that one spontaneous act, I couldn’t stop laughing for a whole of 5 minutes. Too funny lah. Heh.

 

My god, it feels so damn good to be happy all over again =)))))

Edit:// pardon the many “ands”. Haha.

Deep down inside..

This was taken from someone’s blog post. If it’s from your blog, sorry eh I cut and paste. I just love this.

Thank you for posting =)

 

“ I want someone to sleep naked with the rest of my life & cuddle up with during a movie on a couch. Stay up all night talking about nothing. Get lost in any country together. Challenge me, challenge him. Talk about dreams, make dreams, make love in the candle light, in the car, in the shower, have fights, the kind that only really matter just as long as you’re having them. Someone i can wrestle with, you know, play hard sometimes and not to worry about breaking a nail or bruises anywhere, A guy who will bring me flowers once in a while, or maybe a rock, or a shell of some sort, something he saw that made him think of me, made him think ”this might make my gf smile”, A guy who wants me, maybe even needs me just a little, enough to hold onto me with everything he’s got.”

 

This paragraph says it all. One days, perhaps…

Cause life’s like this.

Let your heart be heavy sometimes;

because carrying its weight will make you stronger somehow.

You.

Through the hourglass I saw you
In time you slipped away
When the mirror crashed I called you
And turned to hear you say
If only for today
I am unafraid.

 

I caught you staring at me today.

When I asked you why, you told me that I have beautiful eyes.

I was tempted to reply” eleh, bedek seh” but common sense tells me that I shouldn’t.

 

If I have beautiful eyes, then you have the heart of an angel.

An angel in disguise as a boy.

 

❤

Alhamdulilah.

I can never thank Him enough for letting you into my life.

I love you, F’an. I really do.

On another note, today was only my dad’s checkup.

But the operation date has already been set. In other words, the worse isn’t over yet. Sigh. I’m sorry for the outbreak of emotions yesterday. When it comes to matters pertaining to my love ones; I’m definitely at my weakest =/

  But I’ll be ok. Dun worry. Rad kan strongggg 😉

And for a minute there, i lost myself.

One of my students from Myanmar surprised me with a phone call last Saturday. Yep, she called me all the way from Mandalay. At first I couldn’t really figure out who was tht caller, but hearing her calling me “Ms Radhiyah”; I knew that instant that it was one of my students.

 

God knows how much I miss My OSIP days. My students especially. Those days teaching and loving them. Despite the language barrier, I really felt as if they understood me better than anyone else. Throughout my stay there, never once have I ever feel left out by them. In other words, they really made me feel alive even when I’m miles away from my family.

 

Words itself can’t describe how badly I’m missing them right now. Sigh. One day, insya’allah, I will go back to Mandalay to pay them a visit. This time round, if time enables us, I’m going ask F’an to tag along. I want to show him how beautiful Myanmar is. And of cause, I want to introduce F’an to my students. And not forgetting syid. I’m going to drag her along too. I’m sure she misses her students as much I do right now.

 

And

 

Tomorrow my dad’s going to do his checkup. If he’s still not ok, he will be operated tomorrow. I don’t know. For some reason, I just feel like crying right now.

 

I miss Myanmar. And I’m really scared for my dad  =’(

 

P.s:

 

“selamat pagi; selamat petang, selamat malam”

 

I taught my students malay greetings. They actually “forced” me to teach them those greetings. After learning them, they couldn’t stop greeting their teachers (both foreign and local teachers) in malay.  Syid became one of their constant “victims”. Whenever they bumped into syid, they will greet her in malay. And then syid will never fail to ask me this, “ rad, kau nyer students eh?” Yes yes, those are my students alright 😉

Everyday seems like a lifetime.

And so Friday was his passing out parade. I went there with Nisa. Once we reached the police academy, nisa went with Din’s family whereas for me, I went with his family.

  

Everything was kinda hectic at first. Things weren’t preplanned so I have no idea where to go/ how to contact his family members. All I had was his brother’s hp number. Call here, call there. Talk to his mum/ bro via phone, wait long long and then all of us (me, his mum, his 2 bros, his sis and family) finally met up.

 

You have no idea how awkward and out of place I felt at that point of time. The only person that I am close to is atul, his youngest brother. But thank God things change soon after. I had a couple of laugh with his sis and his mum. And somehow, in one of the conversations, I found out that his mum used to be in NPCC. She held one of the important positions in her cadet. Woah. I was amazed of cause. She looks so dainty and sweet. If not for that conversation, till now I have no idea that his mum knows how to kick some ass too. Heh.

 

Cut story short, everything was beautiful and heart warming. All throughout the ceremony, my hair stood at it ends. No, not because there’s ghost. I just can’t help it but to be so proud of him. Close to four months has passed since he went in. Time really passes by that fast huh?

 

And my heart was beating so fast. My palms were super duper sweaty. I was so excited to meet my policeman but at the same time, I was sooooo nervous. I don’t know why, man. Heh.

 

I didn’t get to take a lot of pictures though. Only a few. My phone cam sucks lah. But then, I did manage to take this one picture; it’s one my favorite picture of us, so far. Heh. Try to figure out which one ok?

 

F’an with “dahlil” (inside joke). Heh.

Heee. My face like chipmunk.

 

 

 So how figure it out already? Hee 😉